wedding attendants – Choice

Don't try this at home! 136 wedding attendants sets a new World record.

BFF Index: -


Choosing your attendants

How many?

Traditionally, for each maid, you would have an usher to escort them down the aisle. Saying that, if the numbers were uneven I’m sure a bridesmaid or usher would be more than happy to have one of the opposite sex on each arm!

What have you budgeted for the attendant’s attire?

Depending on your budget, you should decide how many bridesmaids and ushers to pick. And does the budget stretch to include pageboys, flower girls and ring bearers?

Who to choose?

Traditionally, the Bride’s oldest sister or best friend will be the chosen chief bridesmaid, and the Groom’s oldest brother or best friend would stand as ‘best Man’. But this may lead to conflict as both will probably want the coveted role.

Decisions, decisions!

  • Who in your opinion would provide the best support, and help you enjoy the occasion?
  • Who do you consider your best friend?
  • Who will stay calm when others around are panicking?
  • Who is reliable?
  • Who can cope with organisation?
  • Who has the time to dedicate to the endless shopping trips and planning?
  • If you are planning an overseas ‘rites of passage’ hen stag event; who has the time and money to pay for themselves?

It can be difficult, especially having to ignore outside influence such as your parents suggesting you must have certain family members, or being obliged to reciprocate people who previously chose you to be part of their wedding party. There is however a golden rule to follow: It’s YOUR wedding which means it’s YOUR choice. Be assertive, but polite in asking people to respect your wishes.

Your decisions for selecting the wedding attendant’s will invariably disappoint a few of your friends and/or family. In such circumstances, you could appease the situation by involving their children as the junior attendants such as a flower girl etc. Or maybe sit down with the adult, apologise for not selecting them, and tell them how much you would appreciate their help with certain preparations. Another way to pacify them is to ask them to witness the signing of the register. You could even ask them to help you choose the wedding dress and bridesmaid’s outfits. Whatever you decide, above all, be diplomatic and sensitive!

Whoever you disappoint, we suggest you speak to them with as much honesty as possible to explain your decision. It will be hurtful, but will be easier to take knowing your reasons, rather than forever wondering why. And if they are true friends they will respect you for taking the time to explain.


With the wedding party concluded, let’s now take a look at the preparations required

Preparing your team: -

With your attendants selected, you should call them all together, maybe over a quiet meal to introduce them to each other, in particular the chief bridesmaid and best man as it will be essential for them to work as a team on the wedding day. This will provide you with the perfect opportunity to discuss your wedding plans, and with the use of our wedding plan checklist, make them aware of their individual roles, and delegate specific tasks expected from each of the team.

Encourage them all to help you enjoy the experience by going about their duties with a smile on their face.

With your team prepared and raring to go, we’ll now think about options of clothing available: -

wedding attendants – Choice was last modified: April 14th, 2016 by Gabriella

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